


all that's left is a band of gold

by panlesters



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, but whatever this happened anyway, i had a concept and it wasnt this, mentions of an argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-28 03:47:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18203093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panlesters/pseuds/panlesters
Summary: They've fought before, but it's never ended with one of them in a hotel room.





	all that's left is a band of gold

**Author's Note:**

> ok they played a song at work and i had a concept for an angsty fic and tbh it wasn't really this but by the time i got home the full plan was gone and i had this. it's super short and basic, and kind of a mess but whatever. i don't really write angst much so im just going with it.  
> title from band of gold by freda payne

They've fought before. Little things, cupboard doors open, videos not edited on time. He almost misses it. 

  
No fight has ever led to this. A bag was packed, clothes and a phone charger thrown haphazardly into a rucsac, a desperation to be apart from one another. They've never felt that before. They had always managed to work through arguments. He wasn't sure what made this one different.

  
Dan checked their balance on the joint account, and saw a pending payment to a hotel. He couldn't hold back the tears, then. Dan thought maybe he'd go to Martyn's. Phil could talk to Martyn, and Dan might talk to Adrian, or Louise, or Tyler. Talking always seems to have its healing powers.

  
He lets out the sobs he's hadn't realised he was holding in and fists his hands into the duvet. He's angry, somehow. It might be left over from last night, being angry at Phil, but now it's just directed at himself. The idea that he could let his _husband_ , the man he'd promised to love and protect through everything life threw at them, walk out and spend the night in a lonely, cold hotel room, makes him so mad at himself. He wants to throw something across the room but all he has is his phone and he needs it to work in case Phil calls. He hates to think about that as a possibility. A call from Phil should be a _when_ , not an _if_. He grabs a pillow and hurls it at the wall. When he feels no better, he resigns and allows himself to just cry for a little while.

  
He's been scared of losing Phil before. Seeing him walk out into oncoming traffic with his eyes glued to his phone, countless times. Hearing about a malfunction in the plane they were boarding. But he's never been scared like this. He's never had to worry about Phil not coming home because he didn't want to. Dan's never had to think about Phil leaving him without having the thought chased away by a cuddle or a kiss. Now he's got to think about what happens if this time Phil really does leave.

  
He pulls himself out of the bed he couldn't sleep in. He needs coffee to clear his head and he needs to take his meds before the day goes from bad to unmanageable. He stops to brush his teeth and keeps his eyes focused on the mirror in front of him. He doesn't want to look down and not see Phil's contact lens pot on the tap. But he also doesn't want to see something else in his place. His brain is spiralling and he somehow ends up with the idea in his head that he might look down and see Phil's wedding ring on the side. He's not sure what he would do if he looked down and saw that.

  
He walks himself into the kitchen for coffee and sits down at the kitchen table. On a normal morning he'd make two bowls of cereal and listen to Phil read out the top headlines from his news app. He doesn't even want to look at the news today. Any more bad news might break him.

  
When he hears the ring of someone calling from the lobby, Dan flies out of his seat. He nearly spills his coffee as he rushes to the phone.

  
"Hello?" he can barely breathe, waiting to hear Phil's voice on the other end.

  
"Hi, uh, parcel for a Mr Lester?"

  
Dan takes a deep, shaky breath. He buzzes the guy in and manages to hold his voice strong as he asks him to bring it up. A couple more deep breaths and he feels ready enough to open the door for the postman. He'd forgotten Phil had mentioned yesterday morning he had a parcel coming. He guesses Phil might not even need to buzz up to Dan to get into the building. Had he even taken his keys to get into the apartment? Dan can't remember, it all happened too quickly. He just wants to wake up again to Phil whispering sweet nothings in his ear, brushing soothing fingers through his hair and telling him _it's okay, it's just a nightmare, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere_. He wants to pinch himself, but he doesn't want to confirm that it really is real life.

  
Despite the caffeine kick from the coffee, Dan's feeling pretty drowsy from last night. He'd spent most of it pacing up and down, contemplating texting Phil to apologise and ask him to come home. Each time he'd typed up a message he told himself to give Phil space, let him come back to Dan when he's ready instead of chasing him and not giving him air to breathe. He's glad for that logic, but he half-wishes he'd texted Phil last night. He wishes he could've told Phil last night that he wanted him home when he was ready to come home. Dan doesn't want to add "thinking my husband hates me and wants me gone" to the list of things he imagines Phil was feeling in that hotel room last night.  
A bad mental day wasn't something Dan really wanted to have to deal with on top of everything else today, but he allowed himself the luxury of going back to bed. He thinks he's never felt so exhausted. He's out like a light the moment his head hits the pillow. He needed it, he'd justified to himself before he'd gotten up. It'd make him feel better.  
He wakes up to his phone vibrating next to his head. It takes him a second to figure out what's happening before he's jolting upright and answering the phone.

  
"Phil?" tears have sprung into his eyes and a hand flies up to cover his mouth.

  
"Dan," the voice crackles on the other line. "I'm so sorry."

  
"Phil, oh my God, come-" he tries to hold in a sob but it betrays him and comes out in a hiccup, "Come home, please."

  
"I'm on my way, bear, God, I'm so sorry."

  
He's never run to the door so quickly in all his life as he does when Phil opens it. They're crying into each other's shoulders and Dan takes a couple of deep breaths before he leans back.

  
"Phil, you scared me so much." He sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "Sleep on the sofa next time, please."

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments are appreciated, come scream at me @ panlesters on tumblr


End file.
